Presence. It’s been on my mind a lot recently. His presence in my life, every day. A constant walk, conversation, relationship. I desire it so much, but sometimes it seems elusive. I start to think that God feels far, and then I start figuring out what I need to do. What did I do wrong? How do I fix it? I start chasing, but I’m chasing a feeling and not the presence. I’m after the “stuff” and not the relationship.

I do this without even realizing it. I go from a healthy pursuit to checking boxes. I do a morning devotional or daily scripture reading and then I’m off to the next thing. If you were to ask me an hour later what I read, there’s only a 50/50 chance I could tell you. If I stop and think about it, I’m after a blessing in these moments. My pursuit has moved from doing things with God to doing things for God. I want God to bless my life because of all the stuff I’m doing for Him. The things aren’t bad, of course. They are actually great things to do, but He really doesn’t need me to do them. When I do them though, He would much rather do them with me than me presenting them as some kind of offering to Him.

When I type it all out, it seems silly. It seems so clear. These aren’t thoughts I have as I’m checking the boxes. I don’t even realize I’m doing it. Louie Giglio spoke into this for me this week. In his book Not Forsaken, he said this:

It’s important to see that everything we’ve received is wrapped up in a Someone. The blessing is not a thing. The blessing is a Person. God is the blessing - our perfect Father. The Blessing God wants you to discover is not simply a thing He gives you - it is Himself.

He goes on to discuss that while God does bless us with things, that isn’t the point. That is the overflow. The point is the Person. The point is Him. The difference can appear subtle in text, but I urge you to dwell on this a moment. Pause and consider how this shift from an earthly lens of blessing = things to an eternal lens of blessing = a person. The blessing is actually His presence, and it can change everything.

This was a slow burn for me this week. The text caught my eye when I read it, but God was fanning the spark into a flame day by day. Like a medicine for my soul, I took a dose and it is slowly circulating through my system. It moves me from praying for fixes to praying for His presence. His presence is what I truly desire. The fixes to my circumstances are all temporary anyway. Sure, Lazarus was raised from the dead, and I’m sure it was amazing, but where is he now? Lazarus is dead again. If the point of that was the fix, if the blessing was the raising from the dead, then it was temporary. It’s over now. That doesn’t sound like the everlasting, eternal God. If the point was the Person though, if the blessing was His presence… Well now, we’re looking at something far different. We still talk about the story of Lazarus don’t we? Now that’s eternal.

With the blessing being Him, it shifts our focus. We don’t have to come up with the answers to getting through this struggle or figuring out that circumstance. We are free to experience His presence, the part of the story that really matters. We can yield to his careful hand, because the rest is temporary. We can trust without understanding. We can do life with Him.

Father - Forgive me for trying to fix everything. Forgive me for bringing my plans for you to bless. I pray for your blessing over my life and my circumstances - the blessing of your presence not the things. I just want more of you. The things will come and go, but you are forever. Strengthen me to remember that - to walk with you and not for you. It’s so much better to do it together. In Jesus’ Name - Amen