mystery

I need to ask for a little bit of grace as you read this one. I’m walking into this one very open handed and with just a single thought in my mind that I feel like God put on my heart yesterday. With your permission, I want to explore it with you.

Yesterday, I was on a short road trip and was able to catch up on a few podcasts. While listening to “That Sounds Fun” with Annie Downs and guest Chris Rice, one quote stuck out to me. So much so that I took a voice memo right there as I was driving (no need to shame me, I did it all hands free) to remind me of it later. Chris and Annie were discussing how they hear from God. To Chris’ credit, he simply said he doesn’t. A very bold and unusual response to that question that although many people are undoubtedly in the same boat, few have the courage to admit it.

Slight rabbit hole before I get to the quote though, why is that? Why do we lack the courage to admit things like that? I suppose on the surface it could appear that there is a lack of piety or closeness to God if you don’t hear from Him. This is ridiculous though. A pretense of piety is exactly that, a pretense. If God truly is the father we know Him to be and we are His children, then why on earth would we assume He would connect to each of us the same way. Those of you that have multiple kids know very well what I mean. Each of your kids is completely different and you need to parent them completely different, despite loving them equally. Our Father in heaven is no different. If you don’t have kids, just think about your closest friends. Your relationship with them might be completely different. Not because you care about one more than the other, but because you have developed a different relationship with them over time as they are different people. We as Christians, we as followers of Jesus, we as shepherds called to feed His sheep need to let go of these false pretenses of piety. It’s the only way we can truly love each other as He called us to love, and to learn from each other as we lean on one another. End rant.

Back to the drive. So, here is the quote that got to me. Chris Rice mentioned that he strives to be “more at rest in the mystery than in the confidence.” As in, more at rest in the mystery of what God is calling you into or calling you to be than in the confidence of know exactly what God wants you to do. How’s that for an upside-down kind of statement. Maybe I’m alone on this, but mystery in the context of my future, of who I am trying to be, or of what I am trying to accomplish, especially when it comes to what I do in the name of Jesus, is just unsettling to me. Given the two choices, I want the confidence. I want to know exactly what God wants me to do to further His kingdom! I want to be His good and faithful servant! I need to get it right! So, in order to do all these things, I need to eliminate the mystery, be confident in what I am doing, and get it done… right?

Maybe not. The thought occurs to me that I actually love mysteries. I grew up reading the Boxcar Children books. I read them all and re-read them again and again. I loved the stories, the characters, but most of all, I loved the mystery. Nothing has changed today either. One of my favorite things to do is get some friends together and go to an escape rooms. I am in my element in those rooms – solving riddles, cracking codes, engaging the mystery. I suppose you could draw the line that I love solving mysteries, but it is the journey that is so exciting. It is the act of learning, thinking, and working with my friends all towards a common goal. We want to finish it of course, but what is left at the end? We walk out of the room and it is over. Maybe we get a picture together to tell the world “we did it!” or a cheap pin we will throw away at home if it even makes it that far. So here, in one of my favorite things to do, I realize I don’t love the confidence that I escaped the room, I love dwelling in the mystery.

Upside down. This flips me. Jesus is good at that. Jesus is a businessman and is still in business today. He is in the forgiveness business, restoration business, and so many others including the flip your life business. If I love engaging the mystery when I am having fun, why not with God? Those things I love to do while in the escape room - learning, thinking, working with my friends. Those sound a lot like discernment, reflection, and community. Great things to engage the mysteries that God has placed in my life.

Still, it’s hard. Hard to even process, much less engage. An escape room is safe. A fun little adventure where no one gets hurt and is over in an hour. Mysteries in our lives have real people with real consequences. We can’t be so flippant about how we do life with people. These are real people with real problems that need real solutions. These are our wives, husbands, kids, parents, friends, loved ones. We need the confidence!

Wrong again. Just like in that escape room where the game keeper is watching over your team as you solve the riddles, isn’t God watching over us? Sure, we might go down the wrong path a time or two for /a little bit, but the game keeper is always there to give you a clue. Guiding you towards an ultimate goal. Those wrong paths are actually necessary for us to learn, hone our skills, and be better the next time.

So, as I process this through writing, I come to the conclusion that not only is Chris right, I realize I’ve agreed with him all along. I too love the mystery. I need it and need to figure out how to leverage it to find rest. If I am confident in what I am hearing from God, it leaves no room for mystery. No room for mystery leaves no room for Him to work in my life, give me clues, and guide me well. Confidence makes it about me and what I know and what I can do. Mystery leaves it firmly in his grasp and loosely in mine. Mystery is a blessing.

Father – you never cease to amaze me. You can take a simple sentence and flip my world upside down. I pray that you would help me to release the confidence and embrace the mystery. I pray for more mystery. More of you holding my life in your hands and less of me trying to figure it all out so I can be confident. That is just pride. Forgive me for my pride and release me of my fear of the unknown. I know I can trust you with the unknown in my life - the mystery. That is where you dwell and that is where I want to be. – In Jesus’ Name, Amen.