I was sitting in a men’s group and then out of no where - bam! He really hit me upside the head. Have you ever had that happen to you? You’re just sitting there, having a really nice conversation, and then conviction hits. Like Thor’s hammer. You’re left trying to maintain composure, when you can barely catch your breath, shaken up by something you thought, you knew, you were doing just fine with. Ugh. If you’re like me, you know there are areas you need to work on in your life. You know the struggles, weaknesses, etc. all too well. When someone starts talking about them you know you should pay closer attention. Sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t, depending on the day you’ve had. But this, today, this was something I knew I had down. God had already worked on this with me. I even give advice to others on this. But nope – He tears down that Tower of Babel I made in my mind and confirms I need more work. Ever been there?

This time, on a beautiful Monday night, we talked about trusting God with our lives. No problem. I got this. He broke me of my terrible habits with this before. Gave me beautiful freedom. Changed my whole life years ago with this. From praying for His will over mine, dropping my expectations to pray through expectancy, a whole kingdom minded approach and not my selfish wish list. But that night, He said not good enough. There is more to see, more to experience, more I want to bless you with. Straight up, I had been putting unspoken qualifiers on Him and it was time to bring them into the light.

Qualifiers? What is that supposed to mean? I knew. I knew right away. Even though I wasn’t saying it out loud, I was only trusting Him to a certain point and only in certain areas of my life. Again – Not. Good. Enough. Any of these hit a little too close to home?

I trust God fully UNTIL …
He doesn’t “fix” it the way I think He should
I get too uncomfortable with the situation
It takes too long for my timeline

I give God my whole life EXCEPT FOR …
that one situation with my family member
that one addiction that keeps popping up
my work life and finances

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never said any of these out loud, but holding up a mirror to my prayer life sure reflects those qualifiers. So many untils, except fors, ifs, ands, buts. When giving God the reigns to something in my life, I let Him hold them, but I sure have my hands ready to pounce, you know, just in case… Just in case what? In case the creator of all, author of life, King of Kings, Lord of Lords can’t handle it? Of course not. But like I said, these qualifiers are unspoken. These are gut reactions to when strife hits, fear that creeps in when I feel like something is out of my control, and impatience when something is taking too long for my timeline. Then unchecked, these feelings fester like an open wound until infection sets in and I find myself even more lost and broken than ever.

Bryan Peetoom, an associate pastor at my home church, found a qualifier in his life one time while he was in a worship time with a student ministry. The worship leader was doing his best to hype of the crowd and get the kids excited to experience a fun and energetic worship set. To do this, the leader got the crowd to start jumping. Bryan wasn’t having it though. He was all about the worship, but he wasn’t about to jump. Thoughts rolled through his mind like “jumping is just for the kids” and “the jumping is just hype, and not really necessary” and when being fully honest, he admitted thinking “I’m a pastor, I don’t need to do these things anymore.” When Bryan looked at his heart though, he realized he was putting a qualifier out there on God. He was always willing to say “God I give you everything!”… except if it comes jumping. Conviction hit for him. Why not jumping? The enemy had found a foot hold with this qualifier and it was holding Bryan back. Sometimes the qualifiers look different in different settings. In the end through, they are the same. Qualifiers are pride.

So now what? He knows we are prideful. He knows we are broken and lost. Why else did He give us the cross? He is the ultimate comforter leading us beside still waters. We can trust Him in all things and even if we feel far from Him, it was us that moved not Him. Right? Yes, all of that is true, but there is way more going on here. A deeper truth that He wants us to see, know, FEEL. A feeling of ultimate freedom when we allow ourselves to be completely and totally reliant on Him all the time and in all areas of our lives.

Here’s the biggest thing though about these qualifiers though. The reason why they are so terrible, even more than you can really grasp. These qualifiers shove God in a box. That’s right. The untils and except fors take the God of all, an infinite and all-encompassing God, and puts Him in a shoebox that completely limits His effect on you and the desires for your life. While we hover over the reigns and grab them back at the first sign of trouble, we rob Him of the opportunities to affect real and lasting change in us. Our infinite God is the God of the past, present, and future. He has seen all fourteen million, six hundred and five outcomes for our choices. He wants such beautiful things for us, things that our tiny brains can never even comprehend, because He sees the whole picture. Not just our 14 million futures, but everyone else’s too. And guess what, He loves everyone else and their futures too! The result is a Heavenly Father that is so beyond our understanding that we limit Him in our ignorance.

Let me give you the smallest of examples. Recently, I’ve been struggling at work. Our schedule exceeds our manpower, and nothing gets to me more than when that happens. I do my best to muddle through it, but deep down I am so fearful that it won’t go right. And I’m really only fearful because I can’t control it. In my business, you can’t just hire someone off the street to help with immediate manpower needs. It is a specialized trade that takes years of training. Hiring is a long-term decision, not a short-term patch. I digress. When this happens, my fear turns to anger in some areas, and dread in others. I’m a total mess. But this time, I turned to prayer as my response. I spent as much time as I could pouring my heart out in prayer and diving into His word. By the end of the week, He had taken all my scheduling issues and wrapped them up in a beautiful bow. Jobs got done quicker than expected, others were delayed by completely unforeseen circumstances, but most of all, peace pervaded my soul. In all of my thoughts and hypothetical situations I created to get myself out of the struggles, none of them even came close to the end result I was hoping for. He far exceeded all of them.

That week, I drew close to God and He drew close to me. (James 4:8) I give this example not because it is some amazing miracle where lame men walked and blind men saw. I give it because it is ridiculously small, but it was so important to me. It’s an area that I put God in a box and exclude Him from being able to help me in the ways He really wants to help me. So, what’s your qualifier? What’s your box? Find those and you will release God to do more with your life than you can begin to comprehend.

Father God – I trust you. I really do, but it is so hard. I know in my heart that I want you to have unrestricted access to my life, but my head gets in the way. I’m tired of putting you in a box. I’m tired of not experiencing the life you desire for me and limiting you to only what I can imagine. Spirit – free me of my expectations of me and help me live in a posture of expectancy. Expectancy that you are there and will not forsake me. That you see me and love me and know me. I believe in you but help my unbelief. I release everything, all of me to you. I surrender all. In Jesus’ name – Amen