He calls to me. Calls my name. Speaks to my heart. He is guiding me, shining a light on my path, and pointing me where He wants me to go. Where I want to go. I know He is right. I feel it inside of me. The moment has a hold of me though. I’m doing the opposite. I can’t explain why. A perfect storm of lethargy, apathy, and rebellion. My defaults have control. Then it’s over. The moment passes, and I’m left with emptiness. It’s too late. I missed my opportunity, and all that is left is regret. An aching pain coupled with an echo in my mind saying why? Why did I do this or why didn’t I do that?

Sound familiar? It’s a story I know all too well. Sometimes it is when anger bubbles up and I respond poorly. Or maybe when I have something important to do, but I procrastinate it just a little longer – too long. It can apply to anyone for anything. A hurt, hang-up, or full-blown addiction. They tug at you. An anchor in your life that even if you think you’ve beat it, it can come roaring back.

I hope as you read this, you find it relatable. You find you are not alone when these things happen to you. When your mind races and there seems to a long, drawn-out battle, but it’s really only a couple of seconds. These moments can be big or small relative to the impact on our daily lives, but I believe they all can be defining. They are the signs of patterns and defaults where we are being divided from the desires that God has for our lives. Like a magnet beside a compass, these moments can slowly guide us off course. Our true north gets shifted until we don’t even know where we are any more. Our sense of direction gets flipped. We get lost.

Let’s get something straight. Anytime you identify something that is dividing you from God, you can bet the enemy is at play. That’s his goal, every moment of every day. Yes, even that seemingly insignificant procrastination could be the enemy toying with your heart. Is it because God has crazy, unrealistic expectations for us that we can never meet? He expects us to be perfect and when we are not then we are headed straight to hell? Nope. Not that at all. (He actually knows the opposite. He knows we can’t be perfect, hence Jesus.) The reason it could be the enemy is because the enemy tries to equip us too. The enemy is hoping to create and preserve the patterns and defaults that God is delivering you from. The walls around your heart that God is taking a wrecking ball to. The enemy knows if he can start with little things, they will become big things later on. The whole frog in boiling water idea.

Let me encourage you with something I’m trying to do, but fall so short of so many days. Stop giving the moments power. They have no power. Those few seconds where you feel like you have to make a decision and it feels easier to just go with the flow, or with what you have done in the past – your default. Stop. Stop right there. Breathe and think for a moment. Even if you are in a conversation, you don’t have to respond immediately. You have way more time than you think you do. Sure, it might be a little awkward, but look at the options. Slight awkwardness versus regret? Awkwardness every time. There is growth waiting in the awkwardness.

Still don’t know what to do? Pray. Pray a quick prayer. God, I need you. It can be that short, that simple. He will meet you there. He wants to meet you there. He will meet you anywhere.

Is it too late? Did you already do the thing you didn’t want to do? It’s never too late. Get up, go do the thing. Go talk to the person. Go do whatever you can to rectify it. Even the small things. If you are thinking of something right now that you think is impossible to fix, then let God have it. The lens you are looking through is an earthly one and lacks an eternal perspective. Pray though it with Him and ask Him for freedom. Reach out to your Heavenly Father. That is the number one relationship in your life, and the others are just blessings from Him. All things are possible through Christ, and just because the fix may not look the way you think it should, it doesn’t mean it isn’t a fix. It just means the freedom He wants to give you is beyond our imagination.

Father – forgive me. I get wrapped up in moments and ignore your desires for my life. I let my autopilot take over and quench your Spirit. Right here, right now, I call out the enemy. I tell him he has no place in my life. Our relationship is what matters. No amount of regret, awkwardness, hurts, and hang-ups can stop it. Let my life look like that. Give me your strength and wisdom. I need it for the battle we are in together. I release the past and engage the present, but most of all I give it all to you. In Jesus’ Name – Amen