I’m a big fan of Annie F. Downs. Some of you may have noticed that over the past couple of months since I reference her podcast a bit as well as her books (as recently as last week’s post). I find her to be extremely authentic. Her willingness to be vulnerable while still holding on to her faith in God is inspiring for not only my ministry, but my daily life as well. To that end, she recently posted something on her Instagram that hit me right where I was at. Essentially it said Humans are wanters – so want well.

If you read my last post, you know that I have found myself in a recent season of doubt and fear. When those feelings swam inside my head, they would often develop into wanting. It’s a logical next step. I was feeling self-conscious about writing so I would naturally want it to be better. To overcome the doubt. That wanting was a cancer though, because it wasn’t coming from a good place. It was very much a negative wanting. I call it a cancer because it began to spread. Even if I didn’t say it out loud, my eyes would look around, and I suddenly wasn’t as satisfied with my life, specifically the stuff. I saw things others had on social media and wanted them. My house didn’t look as good as I remembered. I wanted to fix this or that. Even my shoes were suddenly looking a little worn than I liked, and I wanted new ones. The negative wants were permeating through my daily life skewing my view of the world.

As this was going on, another thing started to shift in me. My contentment grew. Doesn’t sound like a bad thing, but I was content in the wrong area. I was content in my relationships - complacent. As my negative wanting grew, I no longer had the space or mental capacity to develop the relationships in my life. I started to become lethargic at home with my family. Going to Men’s Group looked more like something I had to do instead of something I got to do. Even my time with God ebbed as this negative contentment and complacency grew.

I found out that want and contentment are related far more than I ever imagined. There is nothing we can do about having want in our lives. Annie nailed it when she said, “We ALL want something we don’t have. And someone else has it… Humans are wanters. ” Let’s not fight it. Let’s not kill it. We can’t anyway. What we can do is want well. Want the things that bring life. Want positive not negative. So, what does that look like?

Since want and contentment are so linked, I believe that when we want for the material our contentment with the relational rises. Fortunately, the opposite is also true. When we shift our want to the relational, our contentment with the material rises. Intentionality is key, and it won’t happen all at once. Let’s lean into those promptings to pray, to spend a little more time on the floor playing with the kids, to turn off the TV and talk instead of losing another night to a show that can wait for tomorrow. It might be hard, but it is worth it. Every step toward a connection is a step away from the stuff that can hold us back.

When we pour ourselves into relationships with Jesus, our families, and our friends, we become a lot more comfortable with our stuff just the way it is. Keeping up with the Joneses is now far less important than just hanging out with the Joneses for dinner.

Jesus – I confess my negative wants to you and pray that they shift. I want for more of you. I want for you to guide me to the relationships you are calling me to pour into. Give me to the strength and the wisdom to want well. Let my contentment for the material rise so I can focus on the relational. – In your name I pray, Amen.